Whitney And Sada: Communication Problems...Totally!

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The way I see it, Sada is the problem when it comes down to communication. Whitney is trying so hard to reach out to Sada and she pulls away from her every chance she gets and it aggravates me that Sada does that.  Communication is one of the main sources of a good relationship.  Sada's set backs results from abuse from her father.  I can imagine how  painful it was for Sada to talk about the abuse she took from her father. I’m also a big believer that when someone hurts you, especially as a child, and you hold that secret for them you take on the shame and it hurts you. It makes you a prisoner of the abuse. But when you’re able to talk about it and recognize that it wasn’t your fault, you’re able to let go of that burden.  That was part of Sada's healing, so that she doesn't bring the burden into her relationship with Whitney.

I can tell Sada was very worried, and she felt very responsible for her dad and his feelings which was a very unhealthy in their relationship. Part of her talking about it, to Dr. Jenn was very therapeutically and it did changed the dynamic. Her not carrying that burden and letting go of that changed it.  But, what made me mad with Sada, was her not connecting to Whitney.  She was really trying to connect and support Sada, but Sada wasn’t seeing it.

Sometimes I want to shake Sada and tell her, "What in the devil is wrong with you?" Do you know that you're the problem of why you and Whitney are not connecting, because of the lack of communication?" But I was too - excited for Sada to see from the outside now that she’s had a little time because it was very reflective of their (Whitney and Sada) dynamic when Sada says, “No, you don’t have to go with me,” and then gets mad at Whitney when she doesn’t go with her. I see that Sada sets Whitney up to disappoint her by not being honest and direct. "To me - that's bull-crap.". I can also see that its painful for Whitney, because, she is so tuned in to Sada and she wants to help her and be there for her.  I see that Whitney gives her "all and all" to be there for Sada, and Sada is again and again pushing Whitney away. My opinion is that Sada may be bipolar in the way she acts.  I like her and Whitney, I've grown onto them, but, Sada needs to grow and open her mouth to Whitney and communicate with her about her feelings and let go of her past.

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